4. Blog Assignment
#4: Due Thursday, May 24, 2012 by Midnight
Log onto EBSCO Host to research the topics of Grief and
Mourning. Using at least two scholarly articles. Summarize and reflect on your
findings.
Your summary should include the answers to the following
questions:
-How do people deal with trauma and
loss?
-Are there different stages of
grief? What are they?
Your reflection should also connect to a character in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
Include your sources in MLA format.
Alex Scharf
ReplyDeleteMs. Landis
American Literature CPA
24 May 2012
Blog Four
There are many different ways that people deal with trauma and loss. Some people that might be bubbly on the surface may have many outbursts, and might cry a lot. They might need to hear what happened multiple times, and might feel the need to tell a lot of people exactly what has happened. Another way to deal with grief, loss, and trauma is if one has a quiet personality, they might separate and isolate him or her. They might go off, and spend time alone to help themselves work through the situation, or try and figure out the information they need to know. A strong willed person may be very angry that the traumatic or grieving event has happened, and he might be outraged that it could not have be prevented. As well, that person might seek to blame someone else for it. Another person might just sink it in and try to look very strong on the surface and in doing so; they might show little response to the situation. These are the different ways that people deal with loss and trauma.
There are in fact many different stages of grief. To be exact, there are five stages of grief in total. The first stage of grief is denial. The person who is in grief will deny that the traumatic event has just happened to them. The second stage of grief is anger. The person experiencing that traumatic event will show their feeling via anger and enragement. They might cause emotional pain to people around them. The third stage of grief is bargaining. The person going through grief will try to bargain with it, try to maybe do something to either make them forget about it, or do something to bring rationality into their situation. The fourth stage of grief is depression. The person who is grieving will be extremely upset about what has happened to them, and for a while, they will be a distant, sad, different, and depressed person. The fifth and last stage of grief is acceptance. The grieving individual will now accept what has happened to them and might just now try to move on with his or her life. These are the five different stages of grief.
Oskar connects to many of the stages of grief, as well as dealing with trauma and loss in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. To deal with his father’s death, a lot of the times he will be dramatic, not by crying, but a lot of times by hurting himself. He also repeats the story to him time and time again how his father has died. He is always including that in his conversation when he talks to random people. At times, Oskar also is quiet, and might separate himself, specifically with his Mom. He is completely independent of his mom at times, and that might be a coping mechanism to deal with his father’s death. Oskar displays two of the stages of grief in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. He shows examples of the third stage, bargaining. He bargains that before he lets his Dad go, he will figure out what the key in the envelope in his closet represents. Oskar also displays acceptance. He fully understands the fact that his Dad is gone forever, and has learned to just accept it. This is how Oskar Schell deals with trauma and loss and the stages of grief that he displays.
Works Cited
DeleteBeder, Joan. "Loss of The Assumptive World - How We Deal With Death and Loss." EBSCOhost. EBSCO Industries, 24 Aug. 2005. Web. 23 May 2012.
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Holland, Jason M. "Five Stages of Grief." EBSCOhost. EBSCO Industries, 16 Oct. 2008. Web. 23 May 2012.
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Loss is the trigger for grief and mourning. Grief and mourning come many different ways and effect people different ways. Grief can affect your horribly emotionally interfering with your every day life and job which is chronic grief. Sometimes people just lose their will to do things and slowly sink into depression called delayed grief. An example of sudden grief is Oscar, after Oscar lost his father he was hit by grief and the grief caused PTSD, which is a disorder. There is another grief where your grief affects your behavior making you act out and get phobias, which is known as exaggerated grief. Mourning is simply the outward expression of your grief. Mourning is usually portrayed through your religion or personal beliefs.
ReplyDeleteFortunately there are many ways to cope with grief and loss. A very common way to cope with loss is faith. After experiencing loss spiritual guidance is what people seek they want to be reassured and to have hope. Some people start doing activities. Occupying your mind lets you ignore the pain for a while and can help you slowly get used to it. After trauma many people grow closer to their family. After loss it is important to seek comfort and many people can get over their loss by talking to their family and getting support form there. Others hold in their emotions and deal with their grief alone and maintain a strong appearance with others.
http://dying.about.com/od/thegrievingprocess/a/griefprocess.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
Burton-Christie, Douglas. "h e Gift of Tears: Loss, Mourning and the Work of Ecological Restoration ." n. page. Web. 22 May. 2012. .
ReplyDeleteOstler, Teresa. "Grief and Coping in Early Childhood: The Role of Communication in the Mourning Process." n. page. Web. 22 May. 2012. <http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=9&hid=19&sid=60afc293-0066-409d-ab00-d6698cc05879@sessionmgr114&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ==
In these two articles I noticed many things. Grief can affect anyone at any time, but when something very bad happens like a death or someone leaving the grief is stronger and harder to get rid of. People can deal with grief in many ways. Some people want to talk about it and keep an open mind. Others want to keep to themselves and not talk about anything. The ones that bottle it up are the people that hold on to it longer, or worse it can haunt them in the future. The ones that are open to talk about their sadness move on with it faster, and are able to deal with it better.
Oskar for instance, is an example of someone that doesn’t want to talk about their grief. Oskar doesn’t want to talk about his grief so much that it ends up haunting him in the future. He doesn’t talk to his mom, his grandma, or his psychologist. This is the reason why is grief has become all built up. If grief does have different stages, then they only get worse if you don’t deal with them. In order for someone’s grief to disappear they need to be open and talk about their problems.
Oskar’s grandfather is another example of someone with trauma. When he was with Oskar’s grandmother his biggest rule was no children. He was afraid he would lose another child just as he did when he was with Anna. When he leaves Oskar’s grandmother he is filled with guilt and regret. He comes back after his son passes away in order to be in Oskar’s life. Oskar’s grandmother doesn’t allow it. He follows Oskar around until a series of events brings them together. Now Oskar’s grandfather is unable to speak to Oskar because he is filled with grief. In order for Oskar’s grandfathers grief to go away he needs to be able to communicate with Oskar.
There are different ways people deal with a loss of a loved one. One way people deal with grief is by isolating him or herself. Another way people deal with grief is that they preserve the memory of a loved one they have lost. A very popular way of dealing with grief is to become more religious. If someone’s loved one died by a specific cause the family member could help others with their disease. Some people come together with family members or other loved ones. Some people do not understand what has happened and how it affects them. People try to hide their grief and not show it in public. These are the various ways people deal with grief.
ReplyDeleteThere are five stages of grief in total. These stages are known as the Kübler-Ross model. The first stage of grief is denial. This stage has the person denying that the horrific event has occurred. The second stage is anger, which can be directed at him or herself, or they can blame others for what has happened. As a result of the anger he or she experiences, he or she can harm others around him or her. The third stage of grief is bargaining. In this stage the individual will try to bargain and try to postpone death. Bargaining does not usually help the situation. The fourth stage of grief is depression. The griever will become upset and ultimately become depressed. The final stage is acceptance. After the four previous stages the griever will accept what has happened and try to move on with life. This is the Kübler-Ross model otherwise known as the five stages of grief.
In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Oskar goes through grief after his father has died. Oskar deals with his father’s death by repeating what has happened to his father. He tells the strangers he meets the story of what happened. Oskar is very quiet and isolates himself especially away from his mother. He becomes independent after his father’s death and this could be a way that he deals with his loss. Oskar bargains that before he moves on, he will figure what the key in his closet is for. Oskar finally accepts what has happened to him and that his dad is gone forever. The aforementioned facts show how Oskar Schell deals grief and his mourning of his father.
Works CIted:
DeleteHolland, Jason, and Robert Neimeyer. " EBSCOhost: An Examination of Stage Theory of Grief among Individuals Bereaved by Natur...."EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
O'Rourke, Meghan. " EBSCOhost: GOOD GRIEF." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Kelly Hernon
ReplyDeleteMiss Landis
English 10, Period 4
25 May 2012
Blog #4
Dealing with trauma is an extremely difficult process. One can go from seeing a person everyday to all of a sudden never seeing them again. There are many factors that go into this process. Specifically, one-way that people cope is with having interpersonal support, or support from close friends or relatives. Grieving a close relationship may also benefit by having rituals like goodbye luncheons, celebrations, and small gifts; these acknowledge a relationship loss or help overcome traumas. After having a specific trauma or having a loss in life, the post stage is difficult but in it, it is important to put the mind off it by having a structured schedule with fun activities and exercise with friends. (Kaufftan, 1989; Jackson, 2003)
Grief, or the keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss is a painful process that includes different stages. In this process, there can be five stages. One stage of it is going through shock and denial; this is when the mind tells itself that it did not actually happen if it does not believe it did. In extreme cases for this stage, the mind can completely block out the event. Another stage of this process includes bargaining. This stage is when the person thinks of ways that the traumatic event could have been avoided or the person looks for ways to avoid being associated with the event. Anger, another stage in the process often occurs more when there is no one to blame for the event. In this stage, a person may find someone to seek for their anger who may not be associated with the event but just to blame their angry feeling on. Another stage, depression tends to be one of the more dangerous times during the grief process. In this stage the person has given up beliefs that the situation could or would have happened another way and feelings become very intense where the person may attempt to hurt her/himself. Always the last stage in the process is acceptance. It is extremely difficult and painful to get to this stage but it is finally accepting the traumatic event that occurred and the person finally begins to feel calm and peaceful. Grief is an agonizing process that with different stages. (Kono, 2011)
In the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, dealing with trauma and loss is shown. Specifically, a character described goes through the process. Protagonist Oskar Schell, who loses his father in 9/11 shows the dealings of his fathers loss. He keeps secrets from almost everyone when he visits strangers on weekends to find out as much information as possible about his father. Also, he bruises himself to help distract himself from his emotional pain that he has from his father’s death. Oskar Schell goes through the grief process in this novel.
Works Cited:
Kono, Grant. "Surviving Loss, Grief, and Trauma | 4therapy.com." 4therapy.com |
Changing Minds. Changing Behaviors. Changing Lives.. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Kaufftan, and Jackson. " EBSCOhost ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p.,
n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletehttp://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=11&hid=17&sid=2d069632-6c40-4fdb-817c-e697f461f784%40sessionmgr111&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=aph&AN=66180226
ReplyDeleteDealing with death is a highly controversial topic, with strong arguments on both sides. According to the philosopher Gillian Rose immediately entering the mourning process is the most effective way to deal with a death (Kono). Rose believes this head on confrontation will allow for a faster recovery (Kono). On the other hand, philosopher Walter Benjamin believes that a person dealing with a loss should refuse “consolation” (Kono). Consolation is when a grieving person is comforted and sympathized upon after loss. Much like when a mother lets a baby cry itself to sleep, this passive strategy is centered on the belief that the person who is grieving will help themself deal with the death. Both are viable techniques, but in practice Ted Smith believes that both strategies should be used in unison to achieve a better outcome (Kono).
http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=17&hid=17&sid=2d069632-6c40-4fdb-817c-e697f461f784%40sessionmgr111&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=lfh&AN=55400446
Grief has several stages. As time passes, an individual passes through each of these stages. For a person to successfully leave the grieving process these processes must have occurred. According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s theory, these stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Publishers Weekly). Each of these stages is vital to the grieving cycle. When a person is dealing with a loss, the first thing they experience is denial. They wish and believe that the death never occurred, and will not accept it. As time passes, this person begins to become angry, perhaps because they finally realize that denying the death will not bring the person back. Next, the person experiences a bargaining stage. In other words, the individual will begin to try to pre-occupy themselves to keep their minds off the loss. This distraction is the individual’s last desperate attempt to deny the death. Following this, the person grieving will begin to fall into deep depression. This is due to the person realizing that death is permanent, and they will never see their loved one again. The final stage is acceptance of the loss. The individual begins to accept the death, and will begin to exit the grieving process.
In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer, Oskar depicts many of the stages of grief. Towards the beginning of the book, he shows denial of his father’s death. The most obvious example of this is when he hid the phone that had his dad’s final messages recorded in his closet. Oskar begins to have make-believe outbursts of anger throughout the whole book. This is his attempt at releasing his anger without actually affecting those around him. Oskar shows a classic example of bargaining when he decided to search for the lock that his father’s key unlocks. Oskar is constantly suffering severe depression, which causes him to have mixed emotions about everything. Later on in the book, he begins to display acceptance by showing the recordings of his father’s last messages to his (without knowing) grandfather. This is the first instance of Oskar beginning to show acceptance.
Works Cited (Both from EBSCOhost)
Smith, Ted A. "Mourning 9/11: Walter Benjamin, Gillian Rose, And The Dual Register Of Mourning." Political Theology 12.5 (2011): 792-800. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
"The Truth About Grief: The Myth Of Its Five Stages And The New Science Of Loss." Publishers Weekly 257.45 (2010): 52. Literary Reference Center. Web. 24 May 2012.
Steven Cohen
ReplyDeletePeople who are expressing grief can go to their doctors or their friends for help about how to cope with their loss. As quoted from the article titled “Grief and Bereavement Theories,” people may express “anxiety, insomnia, inertia, hyperactivity or a feeling of helplessness” (44). In 1973 Bowlby developed The Theory of Attachment. When he applied this to grief, he came up with the following stages: shock, yearning and protesting, despair, and recovery. Oskar in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close had feelings of shock that his father was dead because he couldn’t answer the phone, and later he has feelings of protesting because he says that he wishes that his mom were dead instead of his father.
Another theory separates Complicated from Uncomplicated Grief. Complicated Grief describes extreme depression that follows the sudden death of a loved one. When this loss occurs, it is usually a result of trauma or violence. In the Uncomplicated Grief Process, a person suffering will go through stages of grief that do not consume him/her over long periods of time. The Uncomplicated Grief Process includes the stages of: accepting the loss, assimilating the loss, accommodating the loss, and last but not least transforming the loss. The grandma goes through periods of Complicated Grief because she has feelings of low self worth and does not overcome her struggles within six months of the normal Uncomplicated Grieving process.
Buglass, Edith. "Grief And Bereavement Theories." Nursing Standard 24.41 (2010): 44-47. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
Love, Anthony W. "Progress In Understanding Grief, Complicated Grief, And Caring For The Bereaved." Contemporary Nurse: A Journal For The Australian Nursing Profession 27.1 (2007): 73-83. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
Some therapists have come to believe that there are five stages of grief. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However this belief is not scientifically backed and “omits positive emotions that are also integral to the experience of grief”. Denial is declaring something to be untrue. Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. Bargaining in the sense of grief is hope of postponing something in that is bound to happen. Depression is lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life. Finally the stage of acceptance is consenting to receive something offered. Overall grief can be categorized into five categories, but really grief is different for all people depending on their resilience and the degree of their mourning.
ReplyDeleteThere are many different ways that people cope with trauma and loss. When someone close to us dies we may feel compelled “to search for the deceased and do everything possible to regain that person’s proximity and care”. This coping method is known as the attachment theory. Another coping method is known as the Assumptive world; this is when someone experienced trauma and the assumptions that have kept them steady begin to disappear and they are unable to make sense of the world. They may start to see the world as a bad, meaningless place and see themselves as worthless. People do not choose to react this way when faced with trauma and loss, but it is part of human nature to want to be loved by the people you have become attached to.
Oskar is forced to deal with his father’s abrupt death during 9/11. He deals with loss through the attachment theory. He loved his dad so when he found out about his death all he wanted to do was find him again and he does this through his search to find the lockbox that matches his fathers key. Oskar also has grief during the novel. He may be in the bargaining stage because he is postponing sharing his emotions about his dad’s death to anyone. Everyone deals with trauma and loss in different ways, some ways are more successful than others, but most including Oskar will be able to move on and continue their lives as they were before.
Beder, Joan. “Loss Of The Assumptive World—How We Deal With Death And Loss.” Omega: Journal of Death and Dying 50.4 (2004): 255-265. Professional Development Collection. Web 22 May 2012.
“The Truth About Greif: The Myth Of Its Five Stages And The New Science Of Loss.“ Publishers Weekly 257.45 (2010): 52. Literary Reference Center. Web. 22 May 2012.
To lose a loved one is the worst thing that could happen to someone. People around the world deal with loss in a variety of different ways. In the article I read, I learned how sudden deaths could occur and how dramatic they could be on someones life. In the article, a 14 year old boy named Mark lived a normal life with his family, until his brother, Seth, began complaining of headaches. Seth was then diagnosed with a tumor in his brain and he died a few months later. Mark did not deal well with his death. He became depressed and was in a deep period of grief. The article says how Mark's life was "shattered". Mark and many others who have had a loss to a loved one know that it is an extremely difficult challenge to deal with trauma and loss. Sadly, most people believe depression is the only way to deal with it. Others learn to forget and forgive. They try to live in the future and forget the past, because they do not want their lives to be ruined. Even though the event of loss is extremely scarring, the challenge is to overcome the loss in a healthy manner.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are five different stages of grief that many people deal with. The five stages consist of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (in that order). Dr. J William Warden actually tried to create a healthy way of grieving that is safe and effective. His method states that the person who experienced a loss should accept the loss, then they should adjust their lives without the person they lost, and lastly he said "the final task is for people to alter ties with the deceased enough that they are able to invest their love and energy in others". He is basically saying that everyone should learn to live and forget. These are the different stages of guilt and how they work.
Oskar Schell experienced the horrible death of his beloved father in the 9/11 attacks. Oskar was very depressed after the death of his father because him and his dad were best friends. Oskar acts very strangely after the death of his father and he is mad at the fact that he died. For example, he digs up the empty grave of his father because of his frustration. Oskar also deals with his loss by using up all of his time to find what the key that is labeled "Black" is for. Everyday, Oskar travels around NYC for hours to find everyone with the last name of Black. Oskar has memories of his father while he is on his adventure because before his dad died, Oskar and his father would do many adventures to learn about the world. Overall, Oskar is extremely affected by the death of his dad, but he is dealing with it very good.
im emailing you the citations.
DeleteBeder, Joan. "LOSS OF THE ASSUMPTIVE WORLD-- HOW WE DEAL WITH DEATH AND LOSS." EBSCOhost. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Delete"Beyond the Five Stages of Grief." EBSCOhost. Harvard Mental Health Letter, Dec. 2011. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Michael Frischman
ReplyDeletePeriod 4
Blog 4
There are many different ways people deal with trauma and loss. Most people’s first reaction after suffering a terrible loss is denial, disbelief, shock, alarm, anger, sadness, and other emotions. Some people can not deal with these emotions and give up on life. Other, more fortunate people, find better ways to cope. They go to therapists regularly and talk about their emotions and overcome obstacles because keeping their feelings bottled up inside is the worst thing to do. Other ways people cope is by talking to their family and accepting the assistance that is offered. In addition, people pray, meditate, or take part in other spiritual activities to help them manage their grief. If people are feeling lonely, they often join a support group. They share their sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses and truly understand how they feel. Overall, staying positive and telling themselves what they are going through and feeling is normal and eventually it will all get better is a very important aspect of dealing with loss.
There are five different stages of grief and the first one is denial. In this stage the grieving person refuses to recognize the reality of the situation. It is a defense mechanism that softens the immediate shock by hiding from the facts and carries the person through the first wave of pain. The second stage is anger. After the masking effect of denial, reality kicks in. The intense emotion hits the griever when he or she is vulnerable, but is redirected and expressed as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends, family, or even the dying or deceased person. The third stage is bargaining, which is the need to regain control after feeling helpless and vulnerable. Secretly the person makes a deal with god to postpone the inevitable, which is an even weaker defense from reality. The fourth stage is depression, where the griever feels sadness and regret and worries about the costs and the burial and that he or she hasn’t spent enough time with loved ones due to grief and mourning. The fifth and final stage is acceptance. In this stage, the person copes with the pain and accepts the reality of the situation.
In the book, Extremely Load and Incredibly Close, Oskar is forced to cope with the loss of his father. He deals with his pain by tracking down everyone in NY with the last name black, hoping that they know something about his father’s key and the lock. By doing this, he is trying to distract himself from the fact that his father died and is keeping his mind occupied. He is also trying to keep his father’s spirit alive by remembering him and unlocking his secret. As well, he does not confide in his mom and tell her how he is feeling, he would rather tell complete strangers than his own family. One good way he copes with the grief is he does let out his emotions to Mr. Black in his apartment building. One bad way he tries to cope with his feelings is he gives himself bruises because he can not handle the emotional toll that his father’s death is taking on him.
Works Cited
“EBSCOhost: Beyond the five stages of grief." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Graham, Kristen. "EBSCOhost: Phila. School District eliminates position of liaison to those suffering lo...." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., 5 Jan. 2012. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Maikoetter, Michelle. "EBSCOhost: From Intuition to Science: Re-ED and Trauma-Informed Care." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., 3 Aug. 2011. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Unfortunately, throughout one’s life, (s)he will experience trauma and loss. The ways of coping with this differs from person to person. A very popular way of coping is isolation, in which a person needs to be alone for long periods of time in order to collect their thoughts and fully understand the circumstances. Others do the opposite, in which they cry and talk to others in hopes of finding some clarity in the chaos. The last popular way of coping with trauma is that the person might be very angry about the loss. This person becomes very unstable, which results a feeling of being an outsider. The ways of coping with trauma and loss vary depending on the type of person.
ReplyDeleteElisabeth Kübler-Ross was interested in the study of grief. She looked into the topic furthermore and created the five stages of grief. She observed that the first stage is denial or shock. In this step, the person cannot mentally handle the truth of what had actually happy. In extreme cases the mind can completely block out the event from the persons mind. The next stage is Anger, in which denial wares off and the person then becomes furious with what had happened. This then results in the next step, bargaining, in which the person looks for ways the traumatic event could have been stopped or avoided. In many cases the person pleas with god and begs for another chance or for the loved one back. Another stage, depression, tends to be the most dangerous due to the fact that it resulted in many suicides. In extreme cases the pain is so immense that they cannot handle it and self-mutilate to lessen it. Grief agonizing process which has many steps.
In the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, it is evident that Oskar is dealing with trauma and loss. The protagonist, Oskar Schell, is forced to go through a great amount of trauma after the loss of his father in 9/11. To cope with this, Oskar keeps secrets from many people when he visits the strangers on the weekends to find out the information on his father. In addition to this he injures himself to lessen the immense pain that he had obtained from his father’s death. After the tragic death of his father, Oskar learns ways to cope with his emotions and feelings.
“EBSCOhost: Beyond the five stages of grief." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
DeleteKono, Grant. "Surviving Loss, Grief, and Trauma | 4therapy.com." 4therapy.com | Changing Minds. Changing Behaviors. Changing Lives.. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
“The Truth About Greif: The Myth Of Its Five Stages And The New Science Of Loss.“ Publishers Weekly 257.45 (2010): 52. Literary Reference Center. Web. 22 May 2012.
When faced with adversity or loss one most cope. Grief can quickly overpower someone and the effects of such forces can create a wide array of responses. Ranging between positive and negative there is a common driving force behind it all. Post traumatic stress disorder is the identified force, and because for many individuals that don’t frequently have to face said situations this new weight can cause many different problems wether or not they seem beneficial in nature. This method of coping is often associated with extreme loss, constant violence and terror attacks such as the events on 9/11.
ReplyDeleteEvery individual has their own way of coping with grief or death of a loved one. However each of these coping mechanisms fits into a general category wether anger or depression the correlation that ties all these subgroups together is the fact that they all generally change or follow a certain set of steps over time. A example of such changes would be going from a state of depression in which the afflicted victims don’t feel like doing anything to a state of compulsivity, where the victim cannot get enough of a certain feeling or material good. More times then not such compulsive behavior will be based of the event. If during the process of the traumatic experience the person lost many material goods, when they reach the state of compulsivity they may want lots of material goods beyond that of a normal level.
During and after 9/11 everyone was dealing with loss and had to overcome the fear set in by such a traumatic event. In Oskar’s situation he portrays many of the same coping mechanisms previously discussed. Losing a father so close to him Oskar was originally out of place. Throughout the novel the reader can take note of Oskar’s awkward nature and interaction with other characters in the story. Such social behavior can be seen as one of the many forms of coping, making oneself feel out of place or rejected from other when it actually might be their own behavior causing social tears. Change is also another trait that Oskar portrays throughout the novel. At first he seems depressed as if nothing will ever better again and then shows signs of compulsivity when he finds a key and focuses all of his attention on that.
" EBSCOhost: Coping Style Use Predicts Posttraumatic Stress and Complicated Grief Sympto... ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
ReplyDelete" EBSCOhost: Coping with a natural disaster: Losses, emotions, and impulsive and compuls... ." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012. .
Unfortunately, trauma and loss are a part of our lives. Everyone at some point in their life will have to deal with the loss of someone close to them and must cope with the traumatic stress of that casualty. Everyone has a different way of coping with loss. Some chose to bottle up all of their feelings and anger and depression, inevitably ending in some sort of unhealthy outburst. Others chose to talk about their feeling with either a therapist or someone close to them, which is very healthy. There are many other ways a person will specifically cope with the loss of a loved one, however there is a general emotional feeling that comes upon everyone during this time of tragedy. They undoubtedly feel angry, helpless, or depressed. Which leads to the five stages of grief.
ReplyDeleteEveryone grieves when placed in front of a time of loss. There are five general stages in this grieving period: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. During denial and isolation we simply try to deny the reality of what has happened to a loved one. This is a defense mechanism that we use to try to dull the shock of what has just been learned. The stage of anger comes about when denial wears off. After trying to deny or forget the loss of a loved one the reality soon sets in and we are emotionally unstable, resulting in a lashing at anything. Bargaining sets in when the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability do. It is a way to try to regain control of the situation. We try to bargain with ourselves, the world, or whatever to try to get that loved one back. Depression is the most intense stage of grief. It is when everything sets in, and the true reality of everything that has happened is overwhelmingly felt and results in a depression. Finally, acceptance is the last stage of the grieving process that unfortunately, not everyone reaches. It is when we accept and comply with what has happened and we are able to move on.
In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Oskar Schell has to cope with the loss of his father during 9/11. The ways Oskar deals with the death of his father is by trying to keep his memory alive. After finding a key in his father’s closet he searches around New York City to find the lock it goes to. The real reason behind this behavior is that he is almost in denial of his death and is trying vigorously to keep his dad’s legacy alive. Oskar also chooses not to share his intimate feeling about his father with his family, which I think is unhealthy. He isolates himself from his mother and decides to tell his story to strangers that he meets along his mission.
Works Cited
DeleteYves de Roten, et al. "Change In Defense Mechanisms And Coping Over The Course Of Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy For Adjustment Disorder." Journal Of Clinical Psychology 66.12 (2010): 1232-1241. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
Holland, Jason M.Neimeyer, Robert A. "An Examination Of Stage Theory Of Grief Among Individuals Bereaved By Natural And Violent Causes: A Meaning-Oriented Contribution." Omega: Journal Of Death & Dying 61.2 (2010): 103-120. Professional Development Collection. Web. 24 May 2012.
Beder, Joan. "Loss of The Assumptive World - How We Deal With Death and Loss." EBSCOhost. EBSCO Industries, 24 Aug. 2005. Web. 23 May 2012.
ReplyDeleteKono, Grant. "Surviving Loss, Grief, and Trauma | 4therapy.com." 4therapy.com |
Changing Minds. Changing Behaviors. Changing Lives.. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 May 2012.
Various people deal with loss in various different ways. If you look at Alice, whose brother dies of an aneurysm, then she may act completely different from Bob, who lost his husband in a car crash. Even the circumstances of the loss itself may affect how they react. Alice, knowing that her brother loved to see her smile, decides to live her life to the fullest; she indulges in wine, women, and song, even though she gets no pleasure from it. Bob, feeling a lack of physical affection, may fall into a depressive spiral and not leave his home for a week. Charlene might pick fights in bars. Derek can eat cheap fast food by the kilo. All of these mechanisms are unhealthy, but there's no one solution to loss, and there's no easy solution either.
Some more healthy responses to trauma are creative/artistic pursuits such as weaving or sculpture. Channelling negative emotions into artwork not only allows for the expression of those emotions, but it also leaves the creator with a tangible record of their feelings, which gives a certain vindication. Also good is a change in religion or spirituality; conversion to another faith, abandoning held beliefs for atheism, or simply intensifying worship can all help people to cope.
There are a number of phases through which depression runs. The classic five are Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Sadness, and Acceptance. However, these are excessively general and not universal. In truth, everyone goes through different phases. Eve might subconsciously go through Denial about some tragedy, then become depressed when that façade breaks, but never even think about Bargaining or Anger. Fred could very well become Angry about the death of his daughter, and never Accept it.
Oskar's mother, in ELaIC, displays a façade to hide her own vulnerability from her son. This could be considered an expression of "Denial" or "Acceptance", depending on how much she believes what she herself says. She is depressed by her husband's death, but she keeps herself going by trying to help her son and keeping up a mask of stoicism against the sadness that plagues them both.
According to current psychologists, many people have coping mechanisms to aid their emotion distress from traumatic events or loss of a loved one. But, there are certain there are certain times of the year that cause people to have more difficulty coping than other parts of the year; ironically, these are the happiest times of the year: holidays. According to Pamela Knudson, the best way to cope with loss of a significant other around the time of the holidays is to "keep their memory alive", because it allows people to mourn, but not necessarily among their death but their positive contributions. For example, the Brummond family lost their son to suicide in April of 2009 and now every year, around Christmas time, they make a "remember me" tree which has a tree with ornaments loved ones put on it or little notes. In addition they do a time of reflection which allows them to acknowledge how great their kid was and allows them to slowly beginning to let go of that tight bond between their dead son and the parents.
ReplyDeleteGrief, on the other hand, feels very difficult to escape once it is inflicted upon a person. This is so because people feel like they are finally getting back onto their feet when suddenly out of no where a metaphorical wave comes crashing down and knocks them over again. In other words, they feel a repeated sense of defeat. They also have discovered that grief is common amongst people but the order in which they grieve varies. The process is usually a 5 step process, proposed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross consisting of proponents such as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages generally start at different times after the passing of this significant other as well which is pretty significant to the process at which they occur.
In the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Oskar exhibits the information that he is in fact suffering from grief even at the end. Throughout the entire novel he just can't grasp the idea that his father left nothing behind for him, or that he is really gone. He also goes through states of depression where he almost becomes a robot and does things because he's in denial that his father is gone, in this depression he gets caught up in the business concerning the key which has no monetary significance in the end. Although when Oskar digs his dads grave up he knows his father isn't in the coffin, when he opens the coffin there is nobody there which surprises him and he can't fully understand the idea that his father is gone forever. Lastly, he never really comes out of the grief as far as we know because the finishing page says he could have done something to save his dad, but he needed to accept the fact there was nothing he could do.
EBSCO SOURCES:
Delete1) Knudson, Pamela. "KEEPING THEIR MEMORY ALIVE: How to cope with loss during the holidays." Grand Forks Herald (ND) 25 Dec. 2011: Newspaper Source Plus. Web. 24 May 2012. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=9&hid=104&sid=df32e18f-4f8e-4fba-8b09-e10a0c881b17%40sessionmgr110&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=n5h&AN=2W62812928458
2) "Beyond The Five Stages Of Grief." Harvard Mental Health Letter 28.6 (2011): 3. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=df32e18f-4f8e-4fba-8b09-e10a0c881b17%40sessionmgr110&vid=16&hid=8
Jake Solomon
ReplyDeletePeriod 4
5/24/12
People deal with trauma and loss many ways. Some people unfortunately can’t deal with the pain of a loved one gone. Other people might go the therapy and talk about what they are feeling to get their feelings out, to make them feel better. For example, in the article “An Examination of Stage Theory of Greif Among Individuals Bereaved by Natural and Violent Causes: A MEANING-ORIENTED CONTRIBUTION” participants gathered were 18 and older and who lost a loved one. The average age for this group of participants was 21.3 years, and the average time since the loss was 11.1 months. The majority of participants were women 76.4%, and most had lost a loved one to natural causes 71.8%. For a women or a man who has lost their loved one, may want to find another spouse, as a way of moving on and coping. Normally, when a loved one is lost, it takes a while to get over. People may do what they think their loved one would want them to do; to move on and live you life to its fullest.
There are many different stages of grief, depending on the situation and who you are as a person. People may not know it, but there are different stages. There are 5 stages consisting of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s one big process that may take weeks, months or even years. But the stages are different because everyone grieves differently. When a loved one passes, family members might go into denial, thinking how can such a thing possibly happen and get upset and angry. In other situations, death can be expected, maybe from old age, so the grief wouldn’t hit as hard as it would if the death came out of no where. Stage 3 you may get frustrated and blame someone else for death just out of pure anger. You may say things like “why me?“ Depression is probably the most common effect when using a loved one. It’s a very tough period of time, you might think about all the things you used to do with your loved one or things you could of done. And then Stage 5 of grief comes along, which is accepting and hope. As time goes by people learn to accept and move on, which is one of the hardest things to do.
Throughout Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, dealing with loss and grief impacts many of the characters in the book especially Oskar. It takes Oskar a while to get over his dad. Oskar replaces his old phone machine with his dad’s messages on it, so no one else can here his dad. This is an example of him dealing with the loss, because he doesn’t want his mom or very grandma to get upset listening to them or mad that he didn’t pick up his last call. He soon became scared of many things dealing with transportation, or anything at a terrorist can target. In the book, Oskar looks for the look for his dad’s key which was a way for him to cope and handles grief. He realized that the only thing he can do is move forward and “not stop looking” which is dad said a circled on a piece of paper. He becomes determined to find out what the key is for and wants to make him proud.
Duncan, Uyntha. " EBSCOhost: Grief and Grief Processing for Preschool Children." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 May 2012. .
DeleteHolland, James, and Robert Neimeyer. " EBSCOhost: An Examination of Stage Theory of Grief among Individuals Bereaved by Natur...." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 May 2012. .
Kubler Elisabeth” EBSCOhost: Beyond the five stages of grief.." EBSCO Publishing Service Selection Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 May 2012. .>.
It’s a part of the human condition to experience trauma and loss. Everyone experiences it in different ways. Some become very self-destructive and masochistic while others do nothing. There are many defense mechanisms common in people who experience loss from narcissism to obsession. Oskar obsesses over finding out what the key opens. He wouldn’t stop until he found it. He also harmed himself physically to attempt to deal with the pain. Self-harm is unfortunately also a fairly common response to trauma.
ReplyDeleteTraditionally there are five stages of grief. The first is denial and isolation. It is the human reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions and create a buffer to the shock. The second stage is Anger. Anger is followed by bargaining, and then depression and acceptance. It has been shown also that if a family or a group of people can grieve as a whole, then they can have a sense of unity that makes the healing process easier. This is why Oskar was slightly relieved when he finally realized that his mother also missed his father.
Yves de Roten, et al. "Change In Defense Mechanisms And Coping Over The Course Of Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy For Adjustment Disorder." Journal Of Clinical Psychology 66.12 (2010): 1232-1241. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012.
Delete"Beyond The Five Stages Of Grief." Harvard Mental Health Letter 28.6 (2011): 3. Academic Search Premier. Web. 24 May 2012. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=df32e18f-4f8e-4fba-8b09-e10a0c881b17%40sessionmgr110&vid=16&hid=8
People deal with trauma and loss through grief. There are five different stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Each step is a way to accept loss. Acceptance being the final stage. Denial happens when the situation becomes overwhelming. The next step, anger, occurs during the healing process and is necessary for gaining acceptance. Bargaining is also a step in the healing process. Depression occurs when the person has realized the truth. Finally there is acceptance. Acceptance happens when the person has accepted reality. Oscar from extremely loud and incredibly close does not follow the five steps of grief, instead he assumes the worst and feels terrible.
ReplyDeleteFeiler, Bruce. "Mourning In A Digital Age." New York Times. n. page. Web. 11 Jun. 2012. .